Monday, February 26, 2007

Kafka's The Great Wall of China OR I WANT TO EAT THE SHORTBREAD IN THE LIVING ROOM

AARGGHHH!!!! Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned. I have lied to my advisor, I have lied to myself, and I have lied on this blog. I am NOT almost done with my thesis

How can I be writing about intertextuality in Waiting for an Angel and have somehow neglected to read Kafka's The Great Wall of China until the night before I am hoping to turn in my thesis (actually a month after originally planned to hand in). It's so brilliantly relevant to everything I am writing about. Ohhhh, it's even relevant to how I'm writing. Every reference I check turns into another close reading so that "none knows more than" me "the absolute futility of" my mission--first I have " to get out of the innermost chamber with its thousands and thousands of courtiers impeding [my] progress, and after that there are a thousand outer chambers to traverse, still filled with courtiers; and though [I] am able to get out of these chambers (it will take years), how can [I] manage to elbow [my] way past the millions of people waiting in the courtyard?" (Waiting for an Angel 103) In other words, with so many millions and millions of words and thoughts and new insights each one blossoming out of the other into an eternal fountain of interpretation, how can I possibly every push beyond to hand it in---- I MUST deal with the Kafka... how can I have gotten this far without doing an extended reading of it's significance dab smack in the middle chapter of the book. Oh misery...

And, oh God, I want to go out and eat the butter shortbread cookies that someone brought to my house the other night not knowing that I have given up chocolate and all store bought sweets for Lent (and all others sweets too, except that I will be lenient in allowing myself to eat homemade, non-chocolate based sweets if someone offers them to me... how bad and wishy-washy of a Lenten resolution is that....!?!). But I shant.

4 comments:

Fred said...

Hehe. The Lamentations of Talatu.

everchange said...

Breathe. You can do it.

Christian Writer said...

I don't Lent or rather, Lent does not do it for me. My natural inclination is to say, eat the shortbread and sod Kafka but that wouldn't be helpful so I'm stuck. I long to comfort you but I fear my comforting mechanisms are rather inadequate for your present needs.

God dey! Chilli con carne!

Talatu-Carmen said...

thanks to all! Really, I was writing a bit tongue in cheek. The Kafka actually reinforced what I was trying to say in the thesis, and I think I was able to work it in a bit. Lent is a "trial" but good for the soul. it's good to have discipline, and good to watch that shortbread slowly disappear (roommate) and know that i have not eaten any of it. It's good practice. If I were going to do a REALLY HARD Lent I'd give up blogging until Easter, as Taurean Minx has. But... I like to make resolutions I can keep.{-;

God dey, indeed!