Delerium

AHHHH!!!!!

Why do I do this to myself every year. You'd think I would know by now to give myself more than a week after the end of the semester

and i thought i was almost packed. how many of these are going to be out of style when i get there? maybe should leave them here and just wear them where people don't know.

bed exploding with papers from a desk half cleaned out.

Library books that need to be returned.

A nonsense microwave meal that I never eat except at times like this the bell rang for about 15 minutes ago. so it will be cold

10pm: JEM pumped up as loud as it will go because my roommate is gone. don't think its too late for the neighbors seeing as they feel free to throw pots and pans and furniture and swear at each other at 3am.

BRIGHT pink TSA approved locks just opened to mark with nail polish and keys to string on necklace. heavy boogers--what is that half a pound off of my weight?

A spastic digital scale I bought on Amazon.com. Is it possible for the human body to fluctuate 8 pounds within the day? I hope it weighs the bags all right.

Arggh. photocopied my passport before i sent it off to the embassy but forgot to copy my visa when i got it back.

Bloody thesis not done yet. will have to run into Van Hise at 7am to turn in.

think i'm getting a sore throat--how do you spell throat? is that right?

arghh, should know better than to try to put the extra keys in my wallet before the nail polish is dried.

oops. microwave meal still waiting.

hmmm. not too bad. esp. for having sat in microwave for 20 mins.

uncouthly drink remaining broth from black oval plastic. very low. very low indeed.

should i leave worn out looking white scarf that has been washed too many times and just buy a new one when i get there?

arghh nail polish still not dry. it gets all over my fingers as i try to take the key off the ring.

Laura's bag was just lost. so should i risk putting the USB disks i got for people in checked luggage? no room in hand luggage.

double ziplock the shampoo.

why do i have hideous purple nail polish?

194 -134 = 60lbs. ok, great can put more books in that bag.

tea as small gifts, very good idea. very light.

Do, I need to return the 1981 Phd dissertation on the study of fantasy and disguise in Hausa tatsuniya in Niger. Can I realistically expect anyone to recall it? in all honesty, i myself have not used it.

Do I take my marked up copy of Waiting for an Angel or just use one of the ones i was taking as a gift?

"I wish this could be a happy song. but my happiness disappeared as soon as you were gone. ... tell me i'm gonna wake up. tell me its just fiction. tell me its just a lie. tell me And I--I miss you. Whooohhooo Yes, I miss you, want you by my side. Oh-hooo."

204-134 = 70 lbs. perfect. if the spastic scale is right.

roommate back. cutting her boyfriend's hair.

"it's just a ride, just a ride, no need to run and hide. it may feel so real inside, but don't forget enjoy the ride."

boyfriend now taking shower.

what to wear tomorrow?

ok, so the problem with packing a lot of stuff 2 weeks ahead is that you can't remember what you've packed and what you're forgetting.

"I gotta stop my mind working overtime. It's driving me insane. Will not let me live, always so negative. Save me. Save me. Ohh-ohh-hh."

how many underwear to pack? shouldn't i know this by now... pack them in outside pocket to embarrass and annoy any pick pockets. heee hee

hmmm... well i OBVIOUSLY bought the wrong size bulb for my flashlight. about 10X too big.

getting dizzy again.

arghh. now no room for the tea boxes...

too late to play music anymore.

high heels?

tired...

the hard back Soyinka? no, too heavy. maybe i have the essay pdf.

no, but surely someone at the university will have it.

i have apparently gained half a pound somewhere in the vicinity of an hour.

now a lot of lovely smashed tea boxes to give people. putting jeans back in drawer. do not need jeans.

12:13. email break. smile

shabby dress back in closet.

moving like 150 year old turtle.

bloody duffle not zipping.

never got a chance to scan in relevant chapters from Derrida/Kristeva/Soyinka, et al. but the way the thesis is going with my own analysis, should be able to plug in when i get back. hope so.

12:54 Wonder where my Nigerian wallet with all my naira is?

ripping favourite cds.

carrying kaya to basement

1:34: on verge of tears

throw away picture of John Paul II that is lying on floor. feel guilty. pull it out of trash and put in drawer.

recycling saved handouts and teaching aids. not teaching next year.

found nasty old fanny pack under the bed. i say everytime that I'm not going to take it, but... it's extra caryying space.

2:32 Load of clothes on. Dust mopping... throwing out large pink scented thesis-writing candle that is almost burnt out.

3:02 Have deciding that mopping the house with Murphey's oil might be a bit excessive at this time of night. also might disturb Sara.

3:24 Room pretty clean. floor no longer looks like filing cabinet. Any papers neatly stacked. Unpacking duffel bag and trying over.

3:49 Hmmm. Put more clothes back in closet. but added a folder of articles. still not zipping.

4:20 making bed with newly washed sheets.

4:46am Carmen decides to take a one hour nap. Since she needs to leave the house by 9:15am, she will need to get to Van Hise by 7am at latest to print and turn in thesis. Will have to finish chapter one when wake up. Not sure how to get library books to library since backpack is already full. but time to sleep for a few minutes.